How Fear of Conflict Erodes Trust

How Fear of Conflict Erodes Trust

Trust is essential to a healthy culture. That’s not controversial. It’s common wisdom. What is controversial is that you can’t build trust without vulnerability. Vulnerability precedes trust. That’s far from common wisdom. Because vulnerability, when it’s real, is...
How Do I Make Friends?

How Do I Make Friends?

When I’ve taught this material, in many different contexts, the most common question asked is, “But how do I make friends? Especially at this stage of my life?”  We’re lonely. Reading a book or listening to a podcast on what makes for a great friendship can be...
How My Tech is Shaping My Soul

How My Tech is Shaping My Soul

“We had no idea what we were doing.”  That’s a line from Jonathan Haidt’s recent essay in The Atlantic, End the Phone-Based Childhood Now, excerpted from his important new book The Anxious Generation – How The Great Rewiring Of Childhood Is Causing An Epidemic...
Vulnerability Among Pastors

Vulnerability Among Pastors

In a previous post, we defined vulnerability as a profound awareness of our weaknesses, limitations, and failures, and the willingness to abide the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure of letting ourselves be seen.  The gospel promises, “It is for freedom that...

Am I a Healthy Leader?

From a talk given at retreat for pastors, autumn 2023 Do you want to be healed? (John 5:6) I knew I was in trouble when… A couple asked to see me. I had a lot of fears in those days – more than I was aware of – but one was how unreasonably and embarrassingly difficult...